Nine
by The Batchild
Summary: The world is starting to rebuild, and lives are beginning to return to normal, all except for Commander Shepard, the woman who saved the galaxy. Her life is changing in a way she never expected.
1. Month One

_I don't own Mass Effect or any of the related content, but I do own Jagher Shepard. Here's some background on my Shep that you should probably know: she's a spacer, a sole survivor, and a soldier. She's a paragde, which means she's mostly paragon, but she's not afraid to get bitch when she has to. She romanced Kaidan Alenko. This fic is rated for language and some sexual content. _

_A/N: I decided to write this fic after having so many Shenko feels and wanting Shenko babies to squee over. Also, the awesome Shenko fans on Tumblr. There is no other motivation behind it. It's just supposed to be super cute and sweet and all those good feels. Please enjoy._

_Oh, and thanks Shauna, for helping me come up with Jagher first craving._

* * *

**Nine; month one.**

* * *

They hadn't planned on having a baby. Not so soon.

They had wanted things to settle down first, the reconstruction to begin, the funerals to be over. They had wanted their lives to return to some degree of normalcy before they started a family. It hadn't happened that way, though.

Of course it hadn't.

Three days after Anderson's funeral, and the morning after taking the test, Jagher Shepard had awoken at two-thirty, her nightmares and grief keeping her once again from sleeping through the night. Slowly, carefully, she untangled herself from the blankets and climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Kaidan. He needed a good night's sleep as much as she did. Maybe more. She paused to look back at him, squinting in the darkness so she could make out the line of straight nose, the curve of his lips.

Sometimes it still felt like a dream.

Jagher shook her head and padded into the bathroom, her bare feet making almost no noise on the carpet. She closed the door before turning the light on and sitting on the edge of the bathtub, one hand on her stomach and her body slightly hunched with weariness.

She had to tell Kaidan. She hadn't told him the night before because she didn't know how; she still didn't know how. Shepard was terrified and it didn't matter that it was a good scared.

With a sigh, she got to her feet again and stared at herself in the mirror, her reflection cut off at about hip-level. Jagher lifted her tank-top and stared at her still-flat stomach, trying to image what she would look like pregnant. For so long, all she'd ever seen herself as was a soldier. She'd never imagined settling down and having a family, not until Anderson had told her, in his last breaths, that she'd make a good mother.

Tears filled her eyes again, the same as every other time she thought of Anderson, her friend and mentor, the man who had been like a father to her through everything, now dead and buried in the ground.

Jagher shook her head again, sending her thoughts away from _that _place.

Shepard pulled her shirt back into place and then turned the tap on so she could splash some cold water on her face and bring herself back to the present. As she was wiping her face dry, she heard the door open. She lowered the towel to find Kaidan looking at her with sleep-blurred eyes full of concern.

"Sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to wake you."

He rubbed at his eyes for a second. "Is everything all right?"

She chewed her bottom lip as she considered a few possible ways of breaking the news. Kaidan's brow furrowed as his concerned increased—it wasn't often Jagher was at a loss for words. "Kaidan," she stared. "I… uh, have some news. I probably should have told you last night, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up and I was exhausted. I'm always exhausted though so I don't really know—"

Kaidan put his hands on his lover's shoulders, cutting her off while making her focus on him. "You're rambling."

Jagher tried to smile, but her mouth didn't want to comply. "I, uh, _we're_ going to have a baby."

It was Kaidan's turn to hunt for words. Several expressions played across his face, but finally settled on disbelief and happiness. He wrapped his arms around Jagher and pulled her into a fierce hug, his face pressed into her hair. Quiet laughter escaped his lips and the noise brought similar laughs to Jagher. In that moment, she wasn't scared about having a baby, she was happy that her and Kaidan were going to have a family. She returned the embrace as Kaidan kissed her ear, her cheek, her mouth.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, the fear came and went along with nausea and intense cravings for pickles wrapped in salami. Shepard bemoaned her desire for weird food but ate it nonetheless, along with handfuls of crackers. She would also eat whatever protein, fruit, or vegetable Kaidan gave her for nutritional reasons, but if it wasn't a pickle wrapped in cured meat or a cracker, it always came back up a little while later or made her stomach so upset she was rendered immobile for the better part of the day.

Towards the end of the first month, the soon-to-be parents were curled up on the couch, watching an old movie. It was raining heavily outside and the apartment was dark despite it being the middle of the afternoon.

Jagher was scared again, still unsure of how to prepare herself for what was coming in less than a year. Her mind wasn't on the movie at all; her green eyes moved rapidly back and forth as her mind ran through all sorts of horrific possibilities.

As if he could sense her thoughts, Kaidan's arm tightened around her by a fraction, drawing her tighter to his chest. "Jag, you're shaking a bit." He pulled the blanket from the back of the couch down over them and took an extra moment to tuck it securely around her. "Are you feeling okay?"

She could feel his voice vibrating against her back. It was soothing. "I'm fine," she muttered, more out of habit.

"Shepard."

He hardly ever called her by her last name anymore, only when he knew she was keeping something back. She sighed and rolled over under the blanket so she was facing Kaidan. Their noses were almost touching. "I'm scared Kaidan—I don't know how I'm going to do this. I didn't have a normal mother. I barely even _saw _my mother. I have no frame of reference."

He didn't belittle her fear by comparing it to the amazing feats she had pulled off in the past. Kaidan just kissed the tip of her nose and brushed some of her hair away from her green eyes. "Jagher Shepard, you will be a great mother. Anderson saw it and I see it too."

There was confidence in his voice, a surety that really made her feel better. She smiled.

"You've got eight months to freak out though, Jag. Don't waste it all now."

She gently punched his chest, her smile turning into a reluctant laugh. Kaidan's laughter joined hers and he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close. Since she was lying farther down on the couch, her face was pressed into his chest, muffling her curses.

As the moment passed, Kaidan puts his mouth against her ear and whispered, "I'll be here the whole time, Jag. We'll figure this out together."


	2. Month Two

_I don't own Mass Effect or any of the related content, but I do own Jagher Shepard. Here's some background on my Shep that you should probably know: she's a spacer, a sole survivor, and a soldier. She's a paragde, which means she's mostly paragon, but she's not afraid to get bitch when she has to. She romanced Kaidan Alenko. This fic is rated for language and some sexual content. _

_A/N: Holy crap, I think that's the biggest response I've ever gotten from a first chapter before! Thank you so much! Hopefully you continue to enjoy this little fic. _

_Also, this chapter kicked my ass._

* * *

**Nine; month two.**

* * *

"Do you want syrup or anything with those waffles?"

Jagher shook her head and took another bite out of the lukewarm waffle, a few crumbs falling from her mouth to land on the floor beside her head. She looked up at Kaidan from where she was lying on the floor, on her back, and smiled, her cheeks puffed out with food. Kaidan was sitting on the couch nearby, his empty plate balanced on one knee as he watched her eat waffle after waffle from the stack beside her.

Lying on her back on the floor was the only position she'd found comfortable all day. The comforter from their bed was covering her lower half, one foot sticking out to keep her from getting too hot; she wanted it over the blanket from living room because it smelled like Kaidan and it smelled like them and it was comforting. There was a pillow somewhere above her head, forgotten moments ago in the need for food, and the hand that wasn't occupied with shoving waffles into her mouth was resting on her stomach, cupped around the bare curve that had appeared halfway through the second month.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" she asked as Kaidan gathered up her empty plate.

His brown eyes flicked to the floor-to-ceiling window that made up one wall of the living room in their apartment. "It's raining Jag."

"So?"

"It's the middle of winter. It's cold. We could get sick."

Jagher sighed and climbed to her feet, her sweatpants falling back around her ankles. She adjusted her overly large t-shirt as she walked to the window, staring outside with a sort of longing Kaidan hadn't seen on her face since she'd been confined to the hospital. She didn't like being cooped up inside, unless it was on a spaceship. Jagher had grown up on starships, exploring the galaxy, meeting new and strange things. The confines of Earth had been bothering her, and her pregnancy was fueling those feelings.

Kaidan quickly deposited their dishes on the counter before returning to the living room to stand behind Jagher, his hands on her shoulders and his body a solid, warm presence that she took comfort in. She leaned back against him, one of his arms wrapping around her waist.

"I need to get out."

"I know Jag."

She struggled free of her lover's arms and turned to face him, her green eyes bright with anger and her teeth bared in an aggressive gesture Kaidan was familiar with. He'd never seen it directed at him though. "I don't think you get it Kaidan!" she snapped. "I don't think you understand how damn crazy it's making me staying trapped in this apartment! I want to be outside! If I stay in here another minute, I'll go _mad._" She shoved him back a step and stomped around him, heading for the door.

Kaidan knew better than to try and stop her or talk her down during her mood swings. He'd tried that when they'd started and had had several bruises on his arms to show for it; the memories of her yelling weren't too nice either. Instead, he waited until reached the door. As expected, she stopped, her hands balled into fists at her sides, her shoulders shaking ever so slightly. He waited a heartbeat before he went to her and took her in his arms again. She turned to bury her face in his shoulder, her arms folded and pinned between them, as if she was trying to curl into a ball against him while standing.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed.

"Don't apologize. Your mood swings suck, but they're not something you can control."

"I must be exasperating." Jagher freed her arms so she could envelope Kaidan in a fierce hug. "And you are going to be late for your meeting with Admiral Hackett."

Kaidan closed his eyes and sighed; he'd totally forgotten about the meeting, a meeting that would probably determine the position he held within the Alliance. He brushed a quick kiss against her cheek. "I'd better get ready then."

* * *

The mood swings increased as the month wore on and even Kaidan's near infinite patience was put to the test. Jagher had always had a shorter fuse than most—a temperament no doubt crafted by a life surrounded by the military and fighting and war—but some days, it seemed as if her hormones had all but obliterated whatever fuse was left. When it got to that point, Shepard would bundle up and leave the apartment, slamming every door she could on the way out.

In the middle of February, as they were approaching the end of the second month of the pregnancy, Jagher and Kaidan had a particularly nasty row about him having to leave for work. Hackett had returned Kaidan to active duty. It didn't matter that he was only on light duty. What mattered was that he was working again and got to leave the apartment while Shepard was still expected to remain at home and rest; the only exercise she was supposed to get was the physical therapy her doctors had given her to make sure her muscles didn't atrophy or something else equally disturbing. That morning before Kaidan had left, dressed in his uniform once again, Jagher had screamed that it was unfair, that she should have been the one returned to active duty.

She was the one who had saved the galaxy from the Reapers, for fuck's sake. She was the one who risked her life destroying the mechanical beings. She was the one who had almost died.

Kaidan had stormed out instead of replying.

Jagher stood in the front hall, staring at the door with her mouth open. It only took a second for the tears to start. She tried to stifle the noises coming from her throat, but the hand covering her mouth only served to make her sobs sound inhuman.

The door opened again, but it wasn't Kaidan.

It was Liara.

Jagher was startled into silence at the sight of her friend. The memory of their planned meeting that day had escaped her in the commotion of the morning. The asari's brow furrowed with concern and she immediately stepped forward to embrace Shepard, whispering words of comfort as she did.

"Shepard? What happened?" she asked when they had parted.

Jagher wiped roughly at her eyes. "These fucking mood swings happened." She turned sharply and marched into the kitchen where she started brewing Liara's favourite tea.

Liara calmly butted in and took over the preparations, Jagher's hands flailing for something to do. "Sit down Jagher," the asari commanded.

Grumbling unintelligibly, Jagher settled herself at the kitchen table. "It's not fair."

"That Kaidan's back on active duty and you're not?"

The tone of Liara's voice made Shepard scowl, but she didn't say anything. She suddenly became very interested in learning every detail of the wooden table in front of her. After another moment or so of silence, Liara settled at the seat opposite her and slid a steaming mug of tea into Shepard's hands.

"Shepard, you know that you're not in any shape to return to active duty yet, even if you were only doing paperwork. You haven't passed any of the physical or psychological evaluations and now you're pregnant." At the look on Jagher's face, Liara held up a hand and gave an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry Shepard, but you know it's true."

Jagher groaned and took a long sip of the hot tea. "I know. I thought I was supposed to enjoy being pregnant. You always hear mothers saying how they miss being pregnant."

"That may come later, once you've adjusted."

Her laugh came out as a snort. "I don't think it's possible to adjust to this." Jagher inhaled a deep breath and exhaled slowly, finding some measure of calm again. Her hormones settled down and she could have sworn she saw a red tint disappear from her vision. "Ah, Kaidan doesn't deserve to have me yelling at him like I did… I told him I hated before he left. I told him I thought he was keeping me prisoner in this apartment or something… I don't even remember. I'm terrible."

Liara reached across the table and took Shepard's hand in her own, giving it a comforting squeeze. "You are not terrible, Jagher, and Kaidan knows you didn't mean what you said."

"That doesn't make me feel any better for saying it." Jagher looked down at her stomach and placed a hand gently over it, the tentative motion exposing how fragile she felt. It was not a state Shepard was used to being in, or one her companions were used to seeing her in. "You," she said to her belly, "You had better have your father's temper. I don't think we can handle another—"

"Shepard?"

Jagher met her friend's fresh wave of concern with more tears and a smile.

"What is it?"

"That's the first time I've talked to the baby," Jagher whispered. "That's the first time I've…" Her face took on an inexplicable expression, somewhere between joy, shock, and confusion. "That's the first time I've talked to _my_ baby."


	3. Month Three

_I don't own Mass Effect or any of the related content, but I do own Jagher Shepard. Here's some background on my Shep that you should probably know: she's a spacer, a sole survivor, and a soldier. She's a paragde, which means she's mostly paragon, but she's not afraid to get bitch when she has to. She romanced Kaidan Alenko. This fic is rated for language and some sexual content. _

_A/N: I'm glad I don't share a computer anymore, because if anyone saw my search history, they'd think I was pregnant. But I've never had a kid or been pregnant so I have to look this stuff up!_

_This thing is so fluffy it almost hurts._

* * *

**Nine; month three.**

* * *

The tile of the bathroom floor was blissfully cool on her face, shoulder, and other patches of skin exposed by the shifting of her sleep shirt. It was the middle of the night—no, of course she couldn't get her morning sickness in the morning—and her stomach was roiling, tossing up everything she'd eaten the day before. She was in the hall bathroom, attempting to let Kaidan sleep. He'd been up with here almost every night in the past couple weeks and she felt terrible for robbing him of his sleep, especially after the fights she'd instigated the month before.

Her guilt was not enough to keep her from smiling when she felt his fingers brush her hair away from her face, his touch soft and his words soothing. He helped her sit up and wiped the sweat from her face with a damp washcloth as she settled her back against his bare chest. He'd done this for her what felt like hundreds of time before, even when she'd been raging at him between stints bent over the toilet.

As another wave of sickness took her, she grabbed his leg and squeezed. He held her long, dark brown hair back with one hand while the other rubbed her back.

"You didn't have to get up," she said as she settled back into the circle of his arms.

"Shepard," he replied, slipping back into old habits in his sleepy state, "are we going to have this conversation every time this happens? If I wake up when you're sick, I'm not going to lie there in bed. I'm going to come in here and comfort you."

The tears brought on by the vomiting turned into real sobs. Jagher wiped furiously at her cheeks, but Kaidan grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands away from her face, wrapping his arms around her and pinning hers to her stomach. He rocked her gently, his lips pressed to her ear as he hushed her.

"I'm terrible at this."

"Jag, you've never done this before."

"Shouldn't I have some sort of motherly instinct that kicks in automatically?"

Kaidan let out a small laugh, the sound making his chest vibrate against Jagher's back. "I'm not sure that's how it works, babe." He placed a small kiss on the curve of her jaw, the place most easily accessible. "I think it's something you have to learn."

"I think it's something your mother is supposed to teach you," she managed between sobs. The tears were slowing and the sobs becoming dry. Afraid the dry heaving would cause her to throw up or injure her throat, Kaidan began to rock her again and tightened his arms a fraction. "My mother wasn't very attentive; she wasn't 'motherly.' What if I'm not either?"

"You will not be raising this baby on a space station or ship," Kaidan said matter-of-factly. "You will not be consumed with your duties to the Alliance, and most importantly, you will have me to help you."

"What if—"

"No more what ifs, Jagher." He loosened his grip on her so he could stand and pull her up with him. The fit of sickness seemed to have passed. "Let's go back to bed. You need sleep."

She turned into him, melting into the hug as she nodded.

* * *

"Pad Thai?"

"Oh! I love you!" Jagher squealed as Kaidan held the take-out container in front of her. She took the box and the fork in his other hand and immediately set to work, crossing her legs underneath her on the couch. It was the good Pad Thai, from the restaurant almost on the other side of Vancouver, the one he'd have to go the opposite direction of home to get to.

Without warning, tears sprang into her eyes. "Thank you!"

Kaidan smiled at her and leaned over to kiss her cheek, taking some of the tears with him when he pulled away. He licked his lips.

Jagher put her head on Kaidan's shoulder as she cried, still bringing forkfuls of food to her mouth. She wasn't sobbing. The tears were just falling and every few seconds she'd make a little sniffling noise. After a few moments of watching the news in silence, the tears stopped and she lifted her head to kiss his cheek, wiping away the sauce afterward with her thumb. He turned and kissed her on the lips, quickly, gently.

He got up and headed for the kitchen to dispose of their dinner things and as he left the living room, he heard the sound of Jagher speaking. Before he stepped back into the room, Kaidan peered around the corner.

She was still sitting on the couch with her legs crossed under her. Her hands were on the swell of her stomach, her fingers splayed wide as if she was trying to hold it all. Jagher was hunched over slightly. A small smile curled her lips.

He strained to make out the words.

"Your Daddy is going to take care of us. I may be scared and have no idea what to do, but he does. He knows what he's doing." Her smile widened and one hand rubbed over the bump. "He's always known. He's always taken care of me, always had my back. He's saved my life more times than I can count and he is going to love you so much. We're going to love you so much."

Feeling a little teary-eyed himself, Kaidan stepped into the room and padded across the carpet. Jagher's head snapped up, the loose strands of her hair falling across her eyes and her cheeks flushing.

She was embarrassed. Kaidan couldn't remember the last time—if ever—he'd seen her embarrassed.

Instead of saying anything to that effect however, he lowered himself onto the couch beside her and wrapped an arm loosely about her shoulders, leaning down so he could whisper to her stomach. "Your Mommy saved me many times too, and don't you ever let her tell you differently. She's a 'big goddamn hero' and she's going to be a wonderful Mommy." Kaidan sat up and found more tears in Shepard's eyes.

"Don't swear at the baby," she said. "And don't quote Zaeed. Nothing he says can be a good influence."

Kaidan returned the smile she was giving him and used his thumbs to wipe away the tears, even if they were happy ones. It was near a one-eighty from her behaviour of the previous month, but Kaidan didn't mind. Sure, the mood swings could be taxing, but he was rather enjoying the ride. It wasn't much different than being with her while she led a ragtag crew around the galaxy, trying to save everyone on her own, even if they were too stupid to believe her. There had been ups and downs then: screaming matches to send even the bravest soldier running, grief and guilt so intense that he had to physically pull her out of bed or off the couch. Those emotions hadn't been undercut by the joy of a baby on the way. They'd just been hard.

He kissed her on the mouth, more fiercely than before.

"What was that for?" Jagher asked, a little breathless from the kiss and the tears.

"Do I need a reason to kiss you like that?"

She shrugged with on shoulder, her hands still occupied on her stomach. "No. It just seemed to come from nowhere. Not that I mind."

"I was just thinking that this is the happiest I've been in a long time. That's all." He kissed her again and placed a hand over hers on her stomach, wrapping his fingers around hers.


	4. Month Four

_I don't own Mass Effect or any of the related content, but I do own Jagher Shepard. Here's some background on my Shep that you should probably know: she's a spacer, a sole survivor, and a soldier. She's a paragde, which means she's mostly paragon, but she's not afraid to get bitch when she has to. She romanced Kaidan Alenko. This fic is rated for language and some sexual content. _

_A/N: Gotta admit, I took some inspiration for this chapter from Friends. I just think the episode is hilarious. Though, it'd be different for Shepard because she has Kaidan. _

_Also, I was going to make it M-rated, but that just didn't feel right for this fic. I've got M-rated stuff on tumblr (link in my profile) and there will be some more M-rated stuff later. Maybe. Anyways, enjoy._

* * *

**Nine; month four.**

* * *

Jagher couldn't sleep. She hadn't been able to sleep for several nights now. Sure, she'd get some rest, but most of the night was spent tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position. If it was this bad when the baby was still small, how was it going to be when she was seven months pregnant? Eight? Nine? She stared at her bump, now very obvious even when she wearing baggy t-shirts, and gave a half-hearted glare before covering it with both her hands and rolling onto her back, stretching out beside Kaidan and trying not to wake him.

If Jagher was being honest with herself though, the baby wasn't the only thing keeping her from sleeping.

The doctor had warned her that this may happen around her third or fourth month of pregnancy, but it was still surprising and still frustrating. On several levels. Hell, she hadn't felt like this since she Kaidan had joined the _Normandy _during the war and they had rekindled their relationship.

All she could think about was her lips on Kaidan's skin, his lips on hers. Her thoughts were consumed with the feeling of their bodies entwined as he moved within her. Their breaths and heartbeats pounding together.

Jagher clenched her teeth to stifle the groan building in her throat.

But Kaidan woke up anyway. She felt his body tense on the bed beside her, his weight shifting subtly on the mattress. He rolled onto his side to face her, one hand automatically going to her belly. Jagher almost begged for him to move his hand lower.

"What's wrong?" he mumbled, voice thick with sleep.

Jagher rolled onto her side as well, facing Kaidan. "Uncomfortable." That was the easiest way to put things, right? _Screw it, _she thought. Jagher pressed her lips to Kaidan's, drawing her body as close to his as she could without compressing the baby. "Very uncomfortable."

A low chuckle escaped Kaidan's lips. He'd been at that doctor's meeting. He knew.

The biotic returned the kiss, the dark energy of his power flaring up around him, illuminating their bedroom in a soft, blue glow. Jagher's laughs were broken up by moans as Kaidan's power pressed and rubbed in all the right places. She found herself overly grateful that Kaidan slept shirtless as she was free to trace the lines of his chest and abs, her hands dipping lower, her clever fingers making her lover moan.

They didn't stop until Jagher was comfortable enough to fall asleep.

* * *

"What has got you so twisted about Lola?"

Jagher turned and scowled at James. He was one of her closest friends, and though he liked children, talking about the baby was a sure way to make the big marine uncomfortable. "Oh, you know," she said.

She knew Vega rolled his eyes, even though she couldn't see his face as he moved about the kitchen. He was making enchiladas and she wasn't allowed to help. Jagher was not a good cook. She could make enough to keep herself alive, but there weren't many others would eat what she made. Instead, Jagher was sitting at the table, sipping at a cup of tea and watching the one man she never would have pegged as a chef whip up another one of his culinary masterpieces.

"So," he said, moving onto a topic he would be comfortable discussing, "how are you adjusting to working from home?"

"Ugh, I hate it." Jagher took a look drink from her mug, finishing off the tea. She spat a tea leaf back into the cup and grimaced at the bitter flavour. "I was never any good at any of the desk work and it's so much easier to get distracted at home." _Especially when Kaidan's here, _she added in her mind, her green eyes casting around the apartment as if expecting him to just appear.

"Having the Major around can't be helping either, unless you two have learned to control your hormones." He cast a suggestive glance over his shoulder at her, one eyebrow arched high.

Jagher laughed, but she couldn't deny the accusation. As she remembered their time on the _Normandy, _the moments her and Kaidan would steal whenever they could, secreted away in some corner of the massive ship, Jagher felt her insides twist and a heat begin to spread upwards. Why wasn't Kaidan home yet? Why did this have to happen again when Vega was here for dinner? She scowled to herself.

"Vega, if you ever settle down and get someone pregnant," she said heedless of any discomfort she might cause her friend, "make sure you are always within half an hour travel time of home. Especially around the fourth month of her pregnancy."

"Lola, I do not even want to know." Vega slipped the tray of food into the oven and then gestured towards the living room. "Watch some TV while we wait?"

"Sure."

Four hours later, after Jagher and James had eaten, he'd said his goodbyes, and left with some of the leftovers in hand, Jagher climbed into bed, dressed in just her nightshirt and tried to fall asleep. She was uncomfortable and wanted Kaidan to be home _yesterday_ but knew he wouldn't be back for another hour at least.

She was glad her friends kept stopping by to check up on her and hang out, because otherwise, she'd go mental. Miranda came by once every two weeks, sometimes more, to go for a slow jog with Jagher, and James would stop by to cook, like he had that night. Garrus had wanted to take her to the shooting range, but the doctor had advised against it, just in case, so she'd sat a fair distance back and watched him pick targets out of the sky like it was nothing. The others would stay and chat, or go out for dinner, or something, but without Kaidan around all the time anymore…

Tears sprang to life and Jagher felt herself roll her eyes. "Damn kid," she muttered as she wiped the tears away, but she was smiling and her hands instantly went back to rubbing soft circles over her bump.

And it kicked.

Jagher jumped into a sitting position, her hands clamped over her belly. She remained completely still, waiting for it to happen again and wishing, wishing, wishing that Kaidan would come home.

As if someone was listening, her boyfriend walked through the door a few moments later.

"KAID GET IN HERE!"

He came running, a panicked look on his face. "What? Is something wrong?"

"No, the baby kicked! GET OVER HERE!"

Regardless of how tired Kaidan looked, he scrambled across the bed and placed a hand between both of Jagher's. They waited together, breath held, until they felt the tiny body announce its presence.


	5. Month Five

_I don't own Mass Effect or any of the related content, but I do own Jagher Shepard. Here's some background on my Shep that you should probably know: she's a spacer, a sole survivor, and a soldier. She's a paragde, which means she's mostly paragon, but she's not afraid to get bitch when she has to. She romanced Kaidan Alenko. This fic is rated for language and some sexual content. _

_A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to this. International travel can kick the shit out of your mentally, physically, and biologically as it turns out. Don't ask. Just know that I've spent most of my times since I got back in bed, watching things and crying a lot. For the record, calling Kaidan Shepard's "boyfriend" doesn't really cover their relationship to me either, but I don't know what else to call him since they're not engaged or married. _

_Hopefully this was worth the wait._

* * *

**Nine; month five.**

* * *

By the middle of the fifth month, Jagher's mood swings were starting to wear on Kaidan.

There had been several occasions where he'd yelled at her for no good reason, and once where he'd stormed out of the house and not returned for most of the night. His actions usually made her scream and shout, but a couple of times she'd cried instead. Kaidan hated seeing her in tears because of him. But even the memory of her crying could not keep him from yelling the next time.

Currently, Kaidan was lying on the couch, his makeshift bed, and trying to fall asleep; since she could only comfortably sleep on her back, Jagher had started snoring and it drove him crazy. It was drizzling—surprise, surprise—and he could see lightning in the distance. A storm was coming.

Kaidan sighed and adjusted his pillow again.

There was a slight shuffling noise behind him that banished all other thoughts from his mind. Not wanting to startle Jagher, he remained still, pretending to be asleep. This wasn't the first time she'd snuck out in the middle of the night. When he heard the door close behind her, he slid off the couch, picked his t-shirt up off the floor and pulled it on. He slid his feet into his running shoes and followed Jagher's path through the halls down to the park behind their apartment building.

He found her standing in the middle of a patch of grass, her flip-flops abandoned behind her as if she had just walked out of them. She was standing with her hands on her hips and her back arched slightly, her head thrown back so the rain would pour across her face. She was wiggling her toes in the grass and humming a fragmented tune under her breath.

Kaidan leaned against a tree bordering the clearing and crossed his arms over his chest. He smiled as he watched her, a feeling of warmth spreading through his body. When she laughed, full-bodied and loud a moment later, Kaidan felt himself laughing with her.

She turned and smiled at him, her sharp ears easily picking up the added noise in the quiet of night.

The biotic crossed the grass to stand in front of her. Overhead, thunder rumbled—it had moved up quickly—and the rain increased. It was cold, but Jagher seemed oblivious to the temperature.

She placed a hand on either side of his face, her fingers rubbing against the slight buildup of stubble on his cheeks. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. Their foreheads touched.

Without Kaidan having to say anything about her catching a cold, Jagher turned, disengaging herself from his arms, and slipped her feet back into her flip-flops as she moved. She kept moving towards their apartment, leaving Kaidan no choice to follow. He jogged a few paces to catch up and wrapped his hand around hers.

He knew there would be more fighting and yelling and hormones to deal with, but he felt happy in that moment and, judging by the smile on Jagher's face, she did as well.

"It can't be that bad, Kaid. You're exaggerating."

"Babe, you sing worse than you dance."

Jagher stuck her tongue out childishly at Kaidan, her hands still resting on her belly, around the specially designed speakers playing music to their unborn child. A pair of earbuds connected to the speakers played the same music in Jagher's ears. At first she'd been singing quietly under her breath, but at some point she'd decided singing as loudly as she could was a good idea. Apparently her skills were nothing to be desired.

"So? You're the only one around to hear. Are you going to tell me to shut up?" There was no hostility in her voice. She wasn't looking for a fight.

Kaidan dropped his hip against the door frame and crossed his arms over his chest, a small smile quirking one side of his mouth. "You wouldn't shut up even if I did tell you to."

Jagher's smile in reply was devious and retained the childish mood of her earlier gesture. "Aren't you going to be late for work?"

Kaidan looked at the clock. "I've got just enough time if I leave now."

"So… why aren't you leaving?"

"Oh, trying to get rid of me are you?" He crossed her living room and leaned over her, one hand on either side of the recliner she was lounging in.

"Well if I can't sing with you here… yes."

Kaidan laughed as Jagher threw her arms around his neck and pulled him down into a kiss. When they separated, he leaned farther down to place a kiss on her belly and then headed to the door.

"If you get in trouble for being late, it wasn't my fault!" Jagher called after him.

"Oh Hackett is going to hear all about it."

Jagher laughed at Kaidan's receding reply before she settled back into the chair, replacing her earbuds as she did. She rocked the chair back and forth as she sang, as loud and as bad as she could, her hands on her stomach feeling the baby shifting in response to the music and probably Jagher's voice.


	6. Month Six

_I don't own Mass Effect or any of the related content, but I do own Jagher Shepard. Here's some background on my Shep that you should probably know: she's a spacer, a sole survivor, and a soldier. She's a paragde, which means she's mostly paragon, but she's not afraid to get bitch when she has to. She romanced Kaidan Alenko. This fic is rated for language and some sexual content. _

_A/N: All this fluff is going to kill me, I think. I don't usually write things that are this fluffy._

* * *

**Nine; month six.**

* * *

"I don't need any more therapy."

"_There's nothing I can do about it Shepard. The higher ups have decided you need further evaluation before you return to active duty, even if it's just a desk job."_

"This isn't fair!" Jagher knew she was whining, but she couldn't help it. The Alliance brass had been dangling her return to duty in front of her for months now, even before she'd found out she was pregnant. "I'm not going to pass any evaluations now, Admiral, not while I'm all full of hormones!"

She heard Steven Hackett sigh and could picture him rubbing his forehead with one hand, a gesture he often adopted when he was unsure. _"I'll have another talk with them, but they seem pretty set on this. After what you went through—"_

"After I saved everyone's asses, you mean?"

"_You suffered a lot of trauma in the war, Shepard, just about in every way someone can experience trauma. They need to be sure you're capable of handling more."_

Jagher groaned loudly. She knew this conversation was going nowhere. They never did. She knew Hackett was trying his best to get her back to work, but that didn't make it any easier to sit around and wait. Not while Kaidan was back at work, and not while she had a baby growing inside her. "Let me know if you hear any better news."

"_Of course Shepard. And I've told Kaidan this, but I want to give you my congratulations as well."_

She felt herself smile despite her mood. "Thanks Admiral. Talk to you later."

"_Hackett out."_

Jagher laughed a bit as she hung up the phone. Her superior officer's standard goodbye had never seemed ridiculous when they were talking over comm. link but he continued to use it even when they were talking on the phone, vid enabled or not. When they weren't in a military situation, it seemed so out of place.

But the darker edges of Jagher's mood returned quickly. She was getting bored cooped up in the apartment, and her desire to go outside was all but gone. She'd spent more and more time dozing around, her child sucking all the energy out of her. It wasn't a terrible exhaustion or anything, just the knowledge that a nap or lying on the couch watching a vid would be preferable to just about anything else.

She grabbed the tin of cookies Tali had made—Jagher didn't even know what was is in them, but they tasted amazing, so it didn't matter—and assumed her position on the couch, stretched out on her side, one hand alternating between the cookies and resting on her stomach.

It was in this position that Kaidan found her when he returned from work, a turian in tow. Jagher rolled herself to her feet upon seeing their guest and threw her arms around Garrus.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" she asked after greeting Kaidan with a kiss. "I would have changed into something more presentable."

Garrus took in her sweat pants and tank top, an expanse of her stomach showing between. He gave her a smile. "Don't worry too much about it Shepard. I'm not staying for long. I have to head back to Palavan tonight and I just wanted to see how you were doing." He tentatively reached out a hand and placed it on her stomach, his smiling returning as the baby pressed against his hand. "Do you know the gender of the child?"

Jagher shook her head, the tendrils of hair that had come loose during her nap falling from behind her ear. She tucked them back in place. "We decided we want to be surprised, but I'm pretty sure it's a boy."

"How can you tell?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "Just a feeling." Jagher placed a hand over Garrus's. "Will you stay for supper? Kaidan's intent on cooking some grand meal since all I've been eating are Tali's cookies."

"I would love to, but my shuttle departs in an hour."

Jagher frowned, but didn't push. Garrus was in charge of a lot on Palavan after all. "How are things going?"

It was the turian's turn to shrug. "About as well as could be expected. We have most of the infrastructure back up, and the government is almost back to normal, but there's still a lot to do."

"Sounds about the same as here on Earth." Before she could stop herself, Jagher sighed heavily and looked out the window, her hands on her stomach. "I want to be out there helping, Garrus."

Garrus wrapped an arm around her shoulders to give her an awkward hug.

* * *

Jagher awoke from a nap a few days after Garrus's brief visit to find Kaidan seated on the floor, his head leaning on the couch near her belly. It was the sound of his voice that had awoken her. It took her a few minutes to realize he wasn't talking to her. He was talking to the child.

She remained still, moving nothing more than her eyes. Kaidan didn't seem to notice that she'd woken.

"We're probably going to have to move once you get a little bigger," he was saying. "Somewhere with a yard you can play in, trees you can climb. Room for brothers and sisters hopefully." Kaidan sighed a content sigh, the sound warming Jagher. "I haven't talked to your Mom about this yet, but I want to have at least three kids."

The idea filled Jagher with fear. Three kids? How could he be thinking about more kids when this one hadn't even been born yet?

She knew the answer before the initial though had finished. Kaidan thought about the future. He always had. He'd always had his eyes set on what he would do next, what they would do next. Jagher had never been good at seeing what was beyond the current mission, and her current mission was growing a baby, on giving birth to a baby. Just one baby. She didn't see anything beyond that because she had no idea how she was even going to do this once. She had no maternal instincts and she had no good example to go from. Her mother had barely stopped when she'd given birth to Jagher, and as a result, her earliest memories were of the inside of a ship, of running around the CIC, playing with those under her mother's command.

But Kaidan had been raised on Earth. His relationship with his Dad hadn't always been good, but his parents were both still alive and well. His relationship with his mother had never been anything but strong and good.

And she would have him. He wasn't going anywhere. It would be the two of them raising the baby. In a safe home, on Earth.

Kaidan's conversation with the baby had continued, but Jagher had heard no more of it. She reached out and grabbed his hand. For a moment, he looked at her with something like panic in his eyes—part of her wondered what he'd been saying—but the expression passed. She gave him a warm smile. He leaned forward and kissed her softly.


	7. Month Seven

_I don't own Mass Effect or any of the related content, but I do own Jagher Shepard. Here's some background on my Shep that you should probably know: she's a spacer, a sole survivor, and a soldier. She's a paragde, which means she's mostly paragon, but she's not afraid to get bitch when she has to. She romanced Kaidan Alenko. This fic is rated for language and some sexual content. _

_A/N: Three chapters left! Yes, three. No, there will not be more, and no I will not write something else like this. At least, not for a long time. Normally, I won't come near serious fluff with a ten-foot pool. I don't know what came over me when I decided to write this thing, but I am glad you all like it so much. I'm glad that some people find this fluff enjoyable. It always makes things feel worthwhile when people enjoy it._

* * *

**Nine; month seven.**

* * *

"Do we have any more carrots?"

"No, you ate them all."

Jagher pushed several containers out of the way and stared into the back of the fridge. "I could have sworn there were carrots back here…" She pushed herself to her feet and turned around, the fridge door closing behind her with a thud and her hands automatically falling to her stomach, fingers splaying in a protective fashion. It wasn't that she really believed there was any threat to the baby, but she'd been unable to remove her hands from her stomach for any significant length of time during the last several days. "I'm going to go get some carrots."

Kaidan sighed at Jagher's insistence. When she was craving something, she could go to bizarre lengths to get it. Thankfully, a walk wasn't included on that list. "All right. We need bread as well."

She made a vague noise of agreement before slipping shoes on her feet and waddling out the door. Kaidan would have gone with her, but he had to get to work—yeah, carrots for breakfast.

Outside, the morning was already humid. Jagher didn't really mind the heat or humidity normally, but the extra weight and the addition of a squirmy little person inside her the air feel much more oppressive. She grumbled as she walked, her hands still on her stomach. So focused was she in her grumbling that she didn't even realize she'd made it to the store.

Carrots and the other needed groceries tucked in a bag slung over one shoulder, Jagher made her way back to the apartment, her dark brown hair sticking to her cheeks and neck, and her t-shirt molded to her pregnant belly. Someone called her name, or at least it sounded like her name. She wasn't paying too much attention.

That was, until a chill hand wrapped around her forearm.

Jagher spun, her body automatically bracing for attack; apparently, her battle-won reflexes were still intact. But there was no one there to attack her. Just EDI, who managed to look startled despite her mechanical body.

"Oh, sorry EDI, I… forgot you and Joker were coming for brunch."

"It is fine Shepard."

"Please, call me Jagher," she said automatically.

The former ship AI paused, her head tilted slightly to one side. "I will attempt to remember from now on."

Jagher nodded and then looked around. "Wait, where is Joker?"

"Jeff is waiting at your apartment. He does not like to walk too far and he says the heat makes it worse."

Jagher had a moment when she could almost hear her pilot's voice as he complained. It brought a smile to her face. And a powerful urge to be out flying again, to be among the stars. Jagher had admitted to herself that she wanted more kids with Kaidan, that she wanted a life with him, but she also knew that she wanted to fly again, to explore uncharted worlds, to be in space.

"Jagher, are you feeling well? Is something wrong with the baby?"

Startled back into the present, Jagher tried to smile at EDI. "No, everything's fine. It's just the heat. Let's get back to Joker." She started walking again—apparently she'd stopped at some point—the bag secure on her shoulder and her hands on her stomach.

EDI's steps clicked along the sidewalk behind her. Jagher focused on the sound to draw herself back. It wouldn't do her any good to think about the stars with a child to raise. It wouldn't do Kaidan any good and it certainly wouldn't do the baby any good. When they were nearing the apartment building, EDI reached forward and wrapped her cold fingers lightly around Jagher's, the difference in temperature helping Jagher to focus.

"I do not believe you are entirely well."

"It's just the heat," she insisted.

"It's just the heat that's fucking killing me," Joker whined from where he stood near the door. Jagher knew he was exaggerating the tone, but it still made her smile. "Can we go inside already?"

* * *

"How did brunch go with Joker and EDI?"

Jagher snuggled back into Kaidan's chest, one arm wrapped around her chest above her stomach, and the other tucked under her head. They were lying on top of the covers, the room warm despite the air conditioning.

"It was… interesting. There were points where EDI just watched us eat."

Kaidan gave a small chuckle, his lips near her ear. She could feel the vibrations from his chest against her back. "I wish I could have seen that."

"They asked after you."

"I bet Joker had some choice words about me not being there."

"Well, they were more about your working while I was stuck at home when I was the one who saved the universe, but you know."

Kaidan placed a soft kiss behind her ear. "I didn't want to go back and leave you here, you know."

Jagher felt some of her fire well up inside, some desire to turn it into an argument, but she was tired and hot and she just wanted to lay there in Kaidan's arms. "I know," she finally said. "But I miss it Kaid. I feel like part of me is… being replaced." Feeling tremendously guilty, Jagher looked at her protruding stomach and rubbed one hand over the swell, feeling the baby move beneath her touch. "Will I ever be able to fly again?"

He kissed her again and pulled her close. "Yes." He'd wanted to talk about naming the baby, but this wasn't the time.

"It wouldn't matter even if Hackett gave me a ship again, though."

"Why's that?" Kaidan kept his voice quiet. This was the first time Jagher had really let anything out other than the obvious.

"Because I won't be saving the galaxy. I won't be flying around trying to find help, trying to find the one way to stop the supposedly unstoppable big bad motherfucker." She sighed, a loud noise of regret. "It's been so long since I did any normal military work. I'm not sure how I remember to do it."

Her voice trailed off after that. She continued to mumble as she fell asleep. Kaidan sighed and closed his eyes, his face still buried in her hair.


	8. Month Eight

_I don't own Mass Effect or any of the related content, but I do own Jagher Shepard. Here's some background on my Shep that you should probably know: she's a spacer, a sole survivor, and a soldier. She's a paragde, which means she's mostly paragon, but she's not afraid to get bitch when she has to. She romanced Kaidan Alenko. This fic is rated for language and some sexual content. _

_A/N: Been having a bit of a… I wouldn't say crisis; that's way too dramatic. Just… issue I guess. I'm not even entirely sure why or what's behind it. Hopefully my personal shit doesn't interfere with the ridiculous fluff of this fic. I like that it makes you guys happy._

* * *

**Nine; month eight.**

* * *

With Jagher almost too pregnant to function properly, and Kaidan too tired to do much either, they set to the immense task of finding a name for the baby, whose gender was still unknown. Their friends thought this was an odd choice, since it was so easy to find out anything and everything about a child before it was born, but Kaidan hadn't wanted to know beforehand and Jagher had agreed, as long as they could be sure that the baby was in perfect health. The child was, by all accounts, perfectly healthy and now spent most of its time beating out some inane tune on Jagher's bladder and kidneys.

After one such trip to relieve herself, the waddling woman returned to the living room and dropped heavily onto the couch beside Kaidan, who was flipping through a thick volume filled with popular baby names from every race the humans had had friendly contact with. Jagher wasn't sure about giving her child an alien name, but Kaidan had suggested they have a look. You never knew what you were going to find.

She turned so she was sitting with her back to the arm of the couch, her legs stretched out in front of her; hey, at this angle, she could actually see her feet. They were terribly swollen. Jagher gave a small sigh and then turned her attention towards her lover and found herself greatly distracted by the line of his jaw and chin, the touches of silver at his temples winding back through his dark curls, the way his neck twitched as he talked. He'd been listing names, but she hadn't heard any since sitting back down.

"Jag?" he called in a tone that suggested it wasn't the first time he'd addressed her.

But turning towards her only caused Jagher to start studying his rich brown eyes, something that had never resulted in her thinking straight.

"Jagher!"

The more forceful tone of Kaidan's voice snapped her out of her head, just as her thoughts started to wander lower. It had been a while since they done anything really intimate, her blimp-like form making close contact of any kind nearly impossible, and their near exhaustion making everything seem daunting.

"Sorry," she breathed. Her green eyes flashed with lust as she caught Kaidan's gaze again.

He gave her a smile halfway between happiness and desire, one hand running up her leg, fingers trailing gently along her calf. "Babe, we've got to pick a name for the kid."

She sighed and ran a hand back through her dark hair, hanging loose around her shoulders; it was getting very, very long. "I know, I know… Have you found anything you really liked?"

"No. Nothing that sticks out. Have you thought of anything?"

Jagher sighed again, but the sound was different, suggesting that she was about to broach something serious. Kaidan knew the tone well. It was something she'd developed after assuming command of the _Normandy, _all those years ago. He settled back into the couch until he was more comfortable and then gave her a barely perceptible nod, suggesting she could continue.

"I was thinking… it would be good to name the kid after someone we know, someone we served with…" Her voice faltered.

"Someone who's gone?"

Jagher looked up, tears in her green eyes and nodded, a slow and sad smile creeping across her lips.

"When did you think of this?"

"It's something I've been thinking about for a couple days. I just wanted to make sure I felt really good about the idea before suggesting it. I mean—" she gave a small sniff and wiped at her eyes "—with the people would could name him or her after, the kid is going to get curious and we're going to have to tell the stories, and it's a lot."

Kaidan's hand on her calf flexed as he turned and looked off into the distance. He turned back a moment later. "I think it's a perfect idea."

Jagher's face split in a smile. "Well then, if it's a girl, there's only one real option."

"Ashley," Kaidan said, his face also filling with a bright grin.

The couple fell into a companionable silence as they remembered the woman they'd lost on Virmire, during that first mission against Saren, the one that had started everything. She'd been hotheaded and brash and suspicious; one hell of a soldier. Shepard hadn't liked her at first, but the woman had wormed her way into Shepard's heart by sharing a lot of the same thoughts, of encouraging her to give into her feelings for Kaidan, and for just being there when Jagher needed someone to talk to, another human woman who was close to her age. Kaidan and Ashley had been fast friends, and Kaidan had later suggested the friction between Jagher and Ashley had stemmed from the fact that they were too similar. Leaving her on Virmire had been one of the hardest decisions Jagher had had to make in her military career, and it was one that still bothered her.

"What if it's a boy?" Kaidan asked, bringing them back to the present and their present dilemma.

"Anderson," Jagher said with no hesitation.

"Not David?"

Jagher screwed up her features, trying very hard not to let her thoughts wander to the weathered and worn face of her superior officer, the man who had been so much a friend and father to her since being chosen for the N7 program. Whenever she thought about him, about the way he'd died on the Citadel, of his last words to her, she turned into an emotional wreck.

"I never called him David," she said finally. "He wasn't David to me. He was Anderson."

Kaidan nodded. "That makes sense." And though Kaidan knew her feelings about the Admiral, he couldn't help but suggesting another name of two others they'd lost. "What about Thane or Mordin?"

Jagher squirmed as if she was uncomfortable, but Kaidan didn't think it was physical. "Let's keep those names for future children."

"Future children?"

Jagher's cheeks flushed brilliantly red, but she nodded, her hands dropping to her great stomach. "Yeah. Future children."


	9. Month Nine

_I don't own Mass Effect or any of the related content, but I do own Jagher Shepard. Here's some background on my Shep that you should probably know: she's a spacer, a sole survivor, and a soldier. She's a paragde, which means she's mostly paragon, but she's not afraid to get bitch when she has to. She romanced Kaidan Alenko. This fic is rated for language and some sexual content. _

_A/N: I feel like I should apologize for this taking a while. I'm not sure why it did, other than some more real life stuff started happening, and I hit a streak with my novel and I didn't want to let it go for as long as I could. There's just one more chapter now._

* * *

**Nine; month nine.**

* * *

"I am not going to sit down. I'm more comfortable standing and moving. This child seems to think my internal organs are drums for it to kick and that my spine is a xylophone. Don't tell me to sit down."

Jagher grumbled some more as she made another circuit of the apartment, her voice increasing when she was out of visual range, just so Kaidan would know how uncomfortable she was. He was stretched out on his back on the living room floor, right in the middle of the carpet so as to avoid Jagher's nearly stomping feet. His eyes were closed, but he wasn't asleep. Oh no, that was a luxury he hadn't had very much of lately. Jagher didn't let him sleep when the baby had her up. It was her opinion that because it was their child they should both be up and suffer being tired together. It usually involved a lot more suffering than togetherness, but Kaidan didn't say anything. He didn't want to start another screaming match. They had neighbours to think about.

When Jagher made it back to the living room, she was crying. Kaidan could hear the sobs in her voice. "I just want the baby out. I want to start raising it on the outside of my body. I don't want to be achy and sore and emotional anymore."

Kaidan suppressed the urge to sigh. This wasn't new territory, although Jagher's words were getting more and more jumbled the less sleep she had. Combined with the tears, it was hard to understand her. Not that he could have done anything to calm her down or make her feel better. His words only seemed to aggravate her farther so he kept his mouth shut, as callous as it made him feel. Kaidan was tired and grumpy and he didn't want to scream at Jagher. He didn't want her to scream at him. So he just let her ramble and wander.

Although she really should sit down.

"Now the sun is rising, damn it. I just want some sleep infant, is that so hard to ask? Can't you remain still for just like, three hours?"

Jagher gave a great sob and Kaidan heard a dull thump that meant she'd flopped down on the couch. When he cracked an eye to peer at her, she was sprawled on her back, one leg hanging over the armrest and the other stuck out so her heel could rest on the floor. Her eyes were closed and her cheeks were tearstained. Her swollen chest and belly were shaking as she cried.

Kaidan did sigh then, but it was one of sympathy. As tired as he was of the mood swings and the screaming and weird food and no sleep, he couldn't really imagine Jagher's discomfort. He shifted over on the floor and took her hand. She fought it at first, just as she usually did—Jagher had never been one to seek out comfort or accept it easily—but after a moment she closed her fingers around his tightly and pulled his hand to her chest.

"Can you give birth to the next one?" she asked.

Kaidan gave a small chuckle. "Sorry Jag, but that's firmly in your department."

"Fine. But you're changing its diapers."

* * *

"Hello Hannah."

"Hi Kaidan. It's been a long time."

Kaidan gave Jagher's mother a quick hug and led her into the kitchen. Jagher had finally managed to fall asleep and was napping in the bedroom. He didn't want to wake her and noise from the living room tended to drift down the hall and through closed doors. "How are you doing?" he asked as he set about making coffee.

Hannah settled herself at the table, her back straight and hands folded on the table. She wasn't dressed in uniform, but there was no mistaking the woman's role in the military. As Kaidan sat across from her, he was struck by the similarity in Jagher's appearance to her mother.

"I've been all right. I was promoted to Rear Admiral during the war and I'm finding the duties a little hard to handle sometimes, but I'm getting old. It's to be expected."

Kaidan wasn't sure what to say to the unexpected information, so he just nodded as he sipped his coffee.

"I'm thinking of retiring once things have settled down." Hannah's eyes, the same green as her daughter's, went distant for a moment, but then she gave her head a small shake. "But I'm not here to talk about myself. How is my daughter doing? She still hasn't mastered keeping in touch with her mother, so I'll have to thank you for calling me when she told you the news."

"I knew she wouldn't call you, whether she didn't want to or forgot. You know how she is."

"I don't suppose she's let your help her at all?"

Kaidan shook his head. "I've mostly just tried to stay out of her way, other than making sure she's eating healthy. She's handling it all better than I expected she would, though."

"I'm glad. If her pregnancy is anything like mine was with her… It can't have been easy for you."

He shrugged with one shoulder and took another sip of his coffee. He had no response to that, either. "The hardest part for her," he said finally, "has been being stuck here. The doctors still don't want her doing anything too strenuous and Hackett isn't going to put her on active duty until after… well, after the period of normal maternity leave has passed, from what I understand. They're all treating her like she's still fragile and she's ready to go charging back out there to help in whatever way she can."

Hannah's smile was filled with pride and sadness. "That sounds like my daughter."

For a few minutes, they sat in silence. Kaidan realized for the first time that though Jagher didn't want to spend a lot of time—or any time, really—with her mother, maybe Hannah wanted to see her daughter, especially now that she was getting older and was about to have a grandchild. Kaidan bit the inside of his cheek to keep from saying anything. When Hannah had drained her cup, he refilled it and then excused himself to go check on Jagher.

He found her sitting on the edge of the bed, doubled over as much as her stomach would allow and her arms wrapped around herself.

Kaidan was at her side in the blink of an eye, one arm around her shoulders and the other genlty tilting her face up to his. "Jagher! What's wrong?"

"The baby," she gasped.

"What?" His eyes scanned franticly over his lover, looking for any signs of trouble. "Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

Jagher smiled up at him, tears in her eyes. Those green eyes were also tinged with fear and pain. "It's fine, we're fine. My water broke, that's all. We should probably get to the hospital, yeah?"

Kaidan laughed, and helped Jagher to her feet. When they turned to the door, Hannah was standing there, eyes wide and one hand gripping the doorframe.

"Hey Mom," Jagher said before scrunching up her face against the pain of a contraction.

"Hi. What do you need me to do?"

Kaidan gestured to the corner of the room where a large duffel bag sat, a pillow on top. "Can you grab the bag please? We'll take your car?"

"Of course."

The trio hurried out the door, Jagher alternating between strangled cries of pain, smiling, and looks of panic. Kaidan didn't let go of her hand and Hannah drove as fast as she could without breaking the law or putting them in danger.


	10. Afterwards

_I don't own Mass Effect or any of the related content, but I do own Jagher Shepard. Here's some background on my Shep that you should probably know: she's a spacer, a sole survivor, and a soldier. She's a paragde, which means she's mostly paragon, but she's not afraid to get bitch when she has to. She romanced Kaidan Alenko. This fic is rated for language and some sexual content. _

_A/N: This is the most fluff-tastic thing I've ever written and I don't remember what exactly made me write it in the first place. I'm glad you have all enjoyed it and that it's made a lot of you happy. That means a lot to me as a writer. I don't know if I'll ever write anything fluffy like this again, but I will be starting to work on the Moments for Mass Effect 3 if that's something of mine you've read. So, I'm so glad you've all enjoyed this and thanks for reading!_

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**Nine; afterwards.**

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Jagher was asleep, sprawled starfish style across the hospital bed, the thin pink sheets just covering her legs. Her stomach was still a little swollen and her skin flushed, but she was smiling, even in her sleep, and the baby boy in her arms seemed just as content. Hannah was lying on the cot the hospital staff had brought up, the older woman asleep with one hand gripping the rails of Jagher's bed. As gently and quietly as he could, Kaidan lifted the tiny human into his arms and settled into the chair beside the bed, cradling his son close and whispering softly.

They'd named him Anderson James Alenko. Using only his last name had been Jagher's choice and one she hadn't explained beyond saying that she didn't want him to be a Shepard. Kaidan took that to mean she didn't want him to have all sorts of expectations foisted upon him before he was old enough to make his own decisions, and Kaidan agreed with that, though he did plan to get a better answer from Jagher at a later date, when they had adjusted to their new life a little bit. He'd thought they'd settled on Shepard-Alenko for the kid, for their family.

_You need sleep, Alenko, _he told himself. _It doesn't matter right now. Nothing matters except that you have a son. A son whose mother is the love of your life and a hero. _His eyes flicked to Jagher, still asleep. Her mouth was hanging open and she was snoring softly. He smiled to himself and looked down at his son, his perfect little boy.

Who had also fallen asleep, also with his mouth hanging open.

"Already just like your mother," Kaidan whispered.

Anderson had opened his eyes once already, right after he was born and cleaned. He hadn't cried, just looked around curiously, his eyes the same brilliant green of Jagher's. The boy had reached up towards Jagher's face when they'd placed him in her arms, and then did the same to Kaidan when the new father had held his son for the first time. Anderson had stared at Hannah for a long time, but kept his hands firmly to himself. When he'd been returned to his mother, he cried for the first time.

Though it had broken Kaidan's heart a little to hear the sound of distress, it was also a beautiful noise.

Jagher had panicked. She didn't know what to do. Kaidan remembered the tears in her eyes as she held Anderson close, rocking him slightly and hushing him with a shaky voice. He'd squeezed her shoulder and smiled at his son. After a few minutes, Anderson had fallen asleep.

And Jagher had cried.

She was still scared, she'd said, terrified. She didn't know how to be a mother. She didn't know how to do any of it. She'd read all the books and taken all the advice from the mothers who had come to the baby shower—women she didn't really know but had allowed to come with the sole intention of draining them dry of whatever information they'd had to give—but it was different now that the baby was here, that she was actually holding the human being in her arms.

Thankfully Hannah hadn't been in the room at that point, because Jagher had fallen back to blaming her mother for being more a soldier than anything else. She'd used some harsh words. And then she'd started crying again for swearing around the baby.

It had taken Kaidan a long time to coax Jagher into sleep, but she'd finally passed out and she'd remained that way for several hours.

"Your Mommy will figure it out," Kaidan told Anderson. He'd found a rhythm with the rocking chair that the baby seemed to like; he was making small noises in his sleep that almost sounded like cooing. "Once she's had some sleep, she'll know what to do. And I'll help her." He placed a soft kiss on his son's forehead. "I've wanted a child for a very long time, and a child with your mother since I realized I loved her."

"You never said anything."

Kaidan looked up into the still-bleary eyes of Jagher, one of his eyebrows lifting. "And what would I have said? Hey Shepard, I love you and think you're the woman I want to have children with? You weren't even sure you wanted to start a relationship." His voice wasn't hostile, just matter-of-fact, and it was barely a whisper. They didn't want to wake Anderson or Hannah.

She gave a small laugh and reached over to brush her fingertips over their son's rather thick, dark hair. "I know, but you never said you'd had those thoughts that early."

"I didn't want to scare you away."

For a second, it looked like Jagher might protest that outcome, but she gave her head a small shake. "I guess that was probably a good move." Her green eyes locked on her baby boy and for a long few minutes, things were silent, just the sound of everyone's breathing filling the room. There was a smile on Jagher's lips. "He's beautiful. I wouldn't change anything about the way our life has turned out, Kaid. This is perfect. All our children will be."

Kaidan laughed silently, his own face turning up in a grin to match hers. "Yes, they will. But I'd like to change one thing."

"Oh?"

Kaidan saw her cheeks flush and had a feeling she knew what he was about to say. "I want you to become my wife." He did his best to hold up one hand to cut her off and threw in a "shut-up" expression just for good measure. "Not right away, maybe not even for a long while yet, but I want you to be my wife, Jagher. I want a ceremony with everyone we love and care about there to see as we promise ourselves to each other. I know it seems a little… unnecessary after all we've been through, but I love you Jagher and I want us to be… together in every way possible, I guess."

Jagher's face was bright red, but she was smiling and her eyes held tears again. Happy tears. "I want to be Mrs. Jagher Shepard-Alenko, Kaidan. But can we figure out how to raise the baby first? One major event at a time."

Kaidan's answering laugh was louder and Hannah gave a start on the cot, but didn't awake. Anderson on the other hand, opened his big eyes and blinked a few times, looking back and forth between his parents. Then he began to cry.

"One major event at a time sounds like a smart plan," Kaidan agreed.


End file.
